Hold on to the truth in your heart.

.Saturday, February 28, 2009 ' 11:48 PM Y

i really cant do this.
i cant take it.
why? someone pls tell me why.

. ' 2:00 PM Y

doubt i'll ever be able to tell you.
so far, the day has been quite bad. Didn't do proposal with squadmates.
I want to sleep, but i've really got to start studying for geog.
Ahhhh, where did my motivation fly to? :/ i've srsly got to get it back.

My parents are watching the christmas 2009's children's choir now. I really miss the choir practises alot. Gosh, i can't believe i used to dread it. I miss the young kids who would run towards me and jump onto me. I wish i could go back there, where it felt so peaceful. I rmb coming home feeling so happy, without any worries, anger or any such feelings.

Take my hands and take my love.
Twirl me around in your dance of light.

feeling so confused.
dont know what to do.
i just want to do smth which will take me out of this worries and confusion.
i miss you so much ;im still empty

.Friday, February 27, 2009 ' 11:02 PM Y

i'm getting used to it already.
come on saranya, you can do it.

csp today was damn slack. only spent about 2o mins on lessons. Spent the rest of the time doing some physocoligal stuff as what ms wee calls it. And whoever i thought of, and the character i chose, it meant that it was impossible between us. Funny funny.

cip tmr, then proposal. jiayou squadmates!
goodbye.
stillwaiting

.Thursday, February 26, 2009 ' 6:20 PM Y

chem test today. not as bad as i expected it to be, but i made so many careless mistakes. argh! today, during the chem ct, i realised i felt the same way as i felt during the maths ct back in sec 1. Hurr, couldn't really concentrate but i tried my best though. Yujie was the best; she read neutrons as protons. quite sad, one mark gone just like that. Oh, i dread ____ lessons cause of the teacher. Grah. Spent my afternoon with squadmates. Don't know what to say about them, gosh so spastic.

I cant believe i did such an embarrassing thing today. What's worst, at the bus stop. Omg, i've never done such things in front of friends before. Anw, thank you, you.

I dont wish to say anything here. Call me coward, i'm fine with it.
now,ireallydontknowwhattodo

.Wednesday, February 25, 2009 ' 10:15 PM Y

there's a reason why.

. ' 8:37 PM Y

SS and emath ct were alright. Tamil compre test was kinda alright too. Chem tmr, and i hate chem. JIAYOU EVERYONE!

If you people didnt realise, we are supp to do the ____ together as a team. But you'll didnt attend any meeting or even ask what's going on. Two more days till deadline. We shall see.

.Monday, February 23, 2009 ' 9:24 PM Y

Random stuff

1. I hate memorising ss ):
2. Rosalind Ang is so super careless and she does not know the kind word THANK YOU!
3. My tp's rather ego too.
4. I've got the rubber bands in my mouth and it hurts like crapppp ): I cant even chew rice. I hate it. So so much.
5. I'm really glad things are fine now(:
6. Lunatic's msging me now.
7. I miss fdc trgs ):
8. I'm damn disappointed with you. I know it's a small matter, but it easily changed my impression of you. I thought you were someone whom i could trust; but i guess not aye :/
9. I wonder what's going on.
10. It hurts. Real bad.
11. Tell me why.

Anw, CONGRATULATIONS TO CEDAR NCC :D
I was so happy when i recieved the msg from shumin on sat. Haha.

.Thursday, February 19, 2009 ' 11:18 PM Y

I doubt i'd say much on that day. I've been wanting to tell you this for quite some time, but i never got the chance to. It's damn sad, but i've learnt to live with it. It's time i be more independent. I keep reminding myself, that i cant depend on anyone but it's really tough. I hate the way you take people for granted; take me for granted. I dont know why i still care. I dont want to, but i cant.

Never expect anything from anyone, and you'll be happy[: and you cant lose what you dont have.

It's damn tough, but i still keep trying.
Jiayou saranya.
Rmb, the only with you all the time is ___.

. ' 9:57 PM Y

i just chose to take a step backwards

.Sunday, February 15, 2009 ' 9:55 PM Y

14 FEBRUARY 2009; a different valentines' day.

One that i'll never forget, one that is memorable, one that i really treasure.

The countless trainings, the passion, the sweat, the hardwork, the water parades, the cheers, the billi-banjas, the announcements on the number of days left to Cedar fiesta every morning, the countdown to Cedar fiesta on the notice board,the laughter, the trust, the panic, the tension, the unity; have all been paid off. After 4months of training, it has all come to an end.

Who's going to win South Zone?

CEDAR!

Who's going to win Nationals?

CEDAR!

IN YOU I TRUST!

Billi Banja, Billi Banja..

CEDAR RED CROSS YOUTH HAS ACHIEVED;

SOUTH DISTRICT CHAMPION AND NATIONAL CHAMPION!

the pride, the glory, the honour<3

once again, it is time to realise that it has come to an end. Dang.

IN YOU I TRUST[:

.Saturday, February 14, 2009 ' 10:26 PM Y

we did it, squad no #3!
WE WALKED IN AS CHAMPIONS, AND WE WALKED OUT AS CHAMPIONS[:
im so tired; i think i'll blog more about nfc'09 tmr.

and HAPPY VDAY LOVELIES(:
great vday aye. heh.
once again, i dont know why i keep thinking about that now.

.Friday, February 13, 2009 ' 11:24 PM Y

It is TOMORROW!
JIAYOU SQUAD # ___ (haha, go figure yourself)
WE'LL WALK IN AS CHAMPIONS AND WALK OUT AS CHAMPIONS[:

Today was the last official training. Never expected it to be so fast. It's really damn sad. I was not quite able to concentrate during lessons the entire day today :/ I just felt so..an indescribable feeling. Tomorrow, is the last time we'll be doing drills together as a squad. And even at such a time, i dont know why i still bother to think about that.

and i'm sure cedar fiesta will go pretty well too! But till now, i'm still really really sad we cant go. Hur):

Oh, and happy valentines all![:
esp, myself. Haha!

.Thursday, February 12, 2009 ' 9:23 PM Y

one, just ONE more day. My heart's beating so fast alr.

Mad rush:/ Went to ppmacs for lunch today with rosalind, yujie, rugaiyah, tehlian and saraht. Then we went to hq to collect our badges(: and we went to ps! And then to j8. Smth really hilarious happened at j8 today. And when i say hilarious, it's kinda obvious it's got smth to do with ROSALIND ANG SWEE WEN.

rosalind. says:
goodbye saranya
rosalind. says:
it's been nice knowing you
rosalind. says:
but now i'm afraid it's time to say goodbye...

Anw, yay dhivya's coming back to school tmr[: Haha.

I knew it. I just knew the cycle would repeat itself. Jiayou saranya.

.Wednesday, February 11, 2009 ' 9:00 PM Y

Three, just THREE more days. Oh god. I dont know why im thinking so much :/ I think _________ really works.

(a stupid mosquito just bit me. Hurhur )

I hate it whenever the pcs announce the no of days left to ceadr fiesta every morning. Then yujie and i will turn and look at each other and give that 'ahhh omg, dont remind us' face. It's like a routine now.

Yay i finally got the video(: And i've watched it like 6 times alr. Haha.

Once again, for the 167th time, i would like to say that i am so glad i am not __ ___.

I dont know if you're trying to be authorotative or what, but it's just damn irritating. I shall not elaborate, or it might become rather obvious. Heh. I've been feeling very weak recently. I felt like fainting after pe and during trg today. Hur, why? ): I need to be damn fit till sat at least.

I think my neighbours are so cute! Haha. My neighbour called me so that i would open the main door for her to ask me quetions like where my parents and sis were. Haha, so amusing.

And there you go again, regretting things. I rmb telling myself that it was a lesson i learnt and i should never repeat that mistake again, but now, i just cant fall out of it. Sheesh.

Idontknowifit'sstillthere,butmaybeiknowwhyifeelthisway.

sec 3s[:

see a dent in the third rank? (x

.Monday, February 9, 2009 ' 8:26 PM Y

5 more days(: :/ ):
Mixed feelings. I'm happy cause i'm kinda looking forward to it(: But im nervous/anxious/damn scared too :/ And i'm damn sad cause the FDC'09 journey's gonna end so soon ): Hur. It's like so so so fast! Haiz. FIVE MORE DAYS.

Damn tireddd! I shall bathe and do bio (provided i do not fall asleep), since im quite blur during bio lessons :/ I was thinking of blogging about smth on my way home today, but i totally forgot what it was.

Hmmm, i think i learnt and realised alot of stuff today(:

onceagain,isitgoodorbad:/

.Sunday, February 8, 2009 ' 5:48 PM Y

This disgusting pink is for that meano izni who gives me weird looks whenever she sees me in school ):
Learn how to smile lah, dodo(: Gosh, you're gonna be 14 in afew days time and you're still so tiny? And how is it possible for you to sit in the fourth row ah?! Tskk. haha!

I'm missing so many things now :/
each time i listen to a particular song, i get reminded of someone or a particular incident and it makes me feel so ):):):

this feeling's taking contol of me

. ' 4:25 PM Y

6 more days[: It has turned into a smile! Yes, we are going to cry. TEARS OF JOY, haha!

_______ is damn motivating. Yaye, it just makes me feel so prepared and it gives me that 'we really can do it' feeling. Just afew more trgs and the 14th, and it'll be over :/

I'm glad i have told you whatever i wanted to. It really hurts :/ Well, at least it has taught me not to trust people so easily.

Maybe i already realised that afew weeks ago, thanks to you. I was really very disappointed in you but i guess i just didnt show it? I see no point in telling you things anymore cause there isn't anything you can do. And also cause it's kind of obvious what you're thinking about. Just afew more months left. How, someone pls tell me how?

Anw, dhivya's birthday was on 4th feb. HAPPY BELATED DEAR[: I'm sure it was a birthday you will never, never forget cause of one beautiful thing that happened and another silly incident. I'm not sure if you rmb what you told me over the phone that night, but whatever you said, was really true. I know you realise it. Sorry for still not giving your present. But like i said, it's still under my table! Haha! I shall tell you whatever i want to in your Vday letter kay(:

i still like this alot(:

And happy birthday to ALEX AND NISHANTHI TOO(x

.Tuesday, February 3, 2009 ' 9:04 PM Y

10 more days.

Wonder what's wrong with you :/ School has been alright. And i realised CTs are starting a week after FDC. Haha, so weird. I don't refer 14th feb to fiesta or vday, but to FDC. Anw, got to start mugging(: Don't quite understand what went on during bio the last few lessons ): Oh and again, csp was fun today!

Aminah: Ni men yao chi gao dian ma?
Xiao Li: Bu yao, wu can guo hou, wo men chi gao dian
Aminah: Hao a! Wo mei you gao dian!

HAHAH, it's supp to be funny.
Oh, i really really miss the tamil class with 2p so much ):

itssupptofadeaway,butitisnt