.Tuesday, March 31, 2009 ' 11:26 PM Y
School today was kinda :/
We got back our CSP test results which were like...yeah. No one passed! And the HIGHEST was a 10/25. How nice is that. It's quite demoralising actually. Ms Wee sounded so serious before she really started the lesson so everyone was so quiet and the lesson was so deadddd ): esp without dhivya, azwyn and zunairah!
Rachel Toh came today and she makes me so happy(: Haha, we started playing tic tac toe(sp?)! And Ms Ng noticed that we were doodling during her lesson cause as i've said, i hate history. Gahhh. English lesson with rachel was so hilarious too! Haha, yay i love my new tp(x And she gives me many sweets too, like ho min(haha!).
I realised you're somewhat like me in that sense. But the only diff is, i do not show anyone how i exactly i feel about it. Okay maybe i do tell one or two people, but not to the person herself. I feel so bad for you, but i know i cant do anything :/ And yes, life changes. People change. You change. I change. Face it.
NAIDU! Omg, it's in TWO days yknow! Sleep throughout the entire day tmr and rest well okay? Andand, drink lots of water. Take care spas, and dont miss me tmr kay? :p
How i wish i had the courage to tell you how badly i want you back
Byebye;
Study study(:
.Monday, March 30, 2009 ' 9:36 PM Y
I kind of like my new place(: Okay, not much of diff actually cause i just moved one seat behind, which means im in the third row! Haha, i've been promoted behind yo. But it's damn weird cause SHU MIN is in the second row. Haha. Buttt, rachel toh didn't come today ): wrote many many letters today! And thank you constance(: You replied so fast!
LEVINA! It's TOMORROW! I've been irritating levina with two words today. "It's tomorrow!" Haha. Hmmm, okay everything that i need to tell you is in your letter(: So look forward to it, haha.
leviiina. C'mon, Give it the Best You've Got. says:
and somehow i cant wait to see you tmr
leviiina. C'mon, Give it the Best You've Got. says:
i dunno why!
leviiina. C'mon, Give it the Best You've Got. says:
haha
To all those in taking part in tl dance syf tmr, JIAYOU okay! :D
esp you(x
Someone told me recently that she felt happier now without much of you around. I do too actually. I feel much lighter, without having to worry about you and your ______. I like the way things are now. So happy and carefree! Yeah, it just feels so great(:
.
Bullied many squadmates today. Hehheh. First, i sat on rugaiyah's lap and three more people joined and haha, rugaiyah was whining so much! Rugaiyah's like a big baby! So cuteeee :p Then i forced yujie to pick a back me from the buzz @canteen area to red brick road and she was dying. Haha! Oh, and to movitate herself, she started singing, " I am from red cross, I shall not be moved.." Hahaha, meet my oh-so-spastic squadmate. And then, it was sanjana's turn to pick a back me back to the buzz @ canteen area. Sanjana's so strong! Haha, my squadmates make me so happy :D
you walked past me like a stanger;
but it's okay(:
that's life; face it man.
.Sunday, March 29, 2009 ' 10:40 PM Y
Now, i desperately want the holidays. Gahhhhhh! It's only the first week of term 2 :/ I rmb how yujie was complaining so much in between lessons on monday about how badly she wanted to go home. Felt so weird and funny this entire week. I hate it whenever i feel like smth is missing when i know it's right there. Why why? Just get over it, please.
Okay, so there's a new seating plan and my new tp is rachel toh(: And omg dhivya and sarah tan are in front of us which means torture): haha. And yujie is next to me! Haha okay lah, i shall admit i'm happy(:
Went to support ncc's fdc with yujie, tehlian and tian qi yest. And WELL DONE CEDAR NCC :D
Champions yo! Rachel C was so zai omg! haha.
Sheesh, i still miss fdc trgs and fdc alot alot/
Omgosh, history's the first lesson tmr. I hope i dont fall asleep. I hate history, srsly. Grah.
Just that is enough to make me smile;
.Friday, March 27, 2009 ' 12:09 AM Y
suddenly, i'm just damn pissed with you.
Omgahhhh :/
why man why?
i feel so awake and i want to do maths but im too scared to go to my study room now ):
loserrrr.
oh, and THANK YOU YUJIE! (:
.Thursday, March 26, 2009 ' 11:10 PM Y
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN WEI LIN(:
we must must go out soon kay!
yay, gonna support ncc's fdc!
JIAYOU CEDAR NCC :D
.Wednesday, March 25, 2009 ' 9:23 PM Y
Sometimes i wish i never got to know some people.
Sometimes i wish i knew how to accept things easily.
Sometimes i wish i knew how to be more decisive.
Sometimes i wish i had ever gotten the chance to...
Sometimes i wish;
Thank you for the letter Constance(: There was smth really sweet and touching in it.
And thanks for the sweets constance and pei xuan(:
Pokes a loser; she's not answering my call! Hurrr.
Talked to ncc people for a while after trg and shu min is such a meano lah.
She kept whacking me!
Thanks to the birthday girl, she helped me take revenge(: haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARSHANA!
i miss my old tamil classmates badlyy.
tamil is so boring and horrible now.
21 more days:/
.Tuesday, March 24, 2009 ' 12:21 AM Y
Random stuff
1. The jeallybeans do taste quite funny but anw, it's the thought that counts(:
2. Thank you so much for the sweets, skinny one(:
3. Yujie and Rugaiyah still do fight over me. HAHAH!
4. I'm sure dead tmr. CSP test. And i didnt study.
5. It's just 22 days away :/ why?
6. I love my squadmates.
7. Yes, things have changed.
8. Dhivya said smth nice to me which made me happy!
9. I miss Debbie.
10. I want to sleep. Goodnight.
Please, stop yourself from feeling this way.
.Monday, March 23, 2009 ' 10:40 PM Y
I woke up at 8pm feeling motivated to study, but now;
All i asked was a simple question, and you had to comment so much.
And to you, it'll seem as though i do not have much feelings cause of my stupid smile and laughter for every single comment.
But that's the way i hide my feelings.
It hurts like crap when all you want to do is to cry, but you cant.
.
I don't know why i'm being so hard-hearted now. Well, maybe cause i thought you wouldn't need me here anymore. So in order to make myself feel better, i'm just trying to distance myself. If you think i'm ignoring you, i'm not. I was already starting to get tired of your temper. And rmb the day after i called you thrice, and you walked away without even looking back? Hmmm. But like i've said in one of my recent posts, if you ever need anyone, i'll be here(: Seriously.
Hmmm, i think you've got to learn to survive on your own. You shouldn't always depend on someone else thinking she'll always be there for you. And worst, only go to her when you need help. Cause in time to come, she will not be. It's a fact.
Hey sarah ang! Don't so emo lah. Everything will be fine one. I bet it's just some stupid mood swing or smth. But i know what it feels like. Just be strong and wait patiently alright(: Awww, and i know we did make you feel better today! Haha, come on it's us you're talking about! HAHA!
It only takes a short msg to cheer one up or to show that you care.
So if you recieved a msg from me, i do care.
I've got so much more things to say, but i need to do my workkk ):
Byebye; life's unfair.
But this spas is enough to make me high and spas too(x i love you!
.Sunday, March 22, 2009 ' 12:55 AM Y
Dental tmr! Haha, haven't decided what colour to put.
Random; I would like to thank amreetaa for the super long and ncie hug after high e during oac. Till now, you're the one that gives the nicest and most comforting hugs, i kinda miss them. Haha, thanks yo. Be honoured kay. I rmb how we used to hug each other for no reason at all back in sec 1. Haha!
Wasted my time again today. I managed to do tamil, for the second time this year. Haha, okay lah not bad(: Did chem for a while, and i feel asleep on my table. Best. I've got to improve my sciences and geog. Gahhh, they're pulling all my grades down. Term 2's starting. Mid years in the beginning of term 3. You've got to improve saranya; and i know i can(: Together with dhivya the spas who's always there for me!
Ws is chiongong hw now. Haha, jiayou! ZOMG I JUST REMEMBERED AGAIN THAT THERE'S CSP TEST ON TUES! Dead, great. Omg bahhhzxzxzxz :/ Okay tmr, i have to. Jes said she would have been dead by now if she hadn't quit csp. Heh, i dunno what to do.
. ' 12:28 AM Y
CONGRATULATIONS CURATORS(:
We are really proud of you'll!
A 15 year history yo!
Pokes better had taken a video for me huh(:
.Saturday, March 21, 2009 ' 12:16 AM Y
i really want to run away from you, but there ain't anything that will let me
.Friday, March 20, 2009 ' 1:30 PM Y
Okay, so OAC's over.
March Leadership Camp's over too.
I'm having mixed feelings now. I'm glad they're over as i have lesser things to worry about. But i really miss both camps alot. Yest, even after break camp, i kept hearing someone calling IC and the whistle sounds. And i told my sister to hurry up for no reason when i came home yest. Hahah!
Firstly, OAC.
I'm had so many mixed feelings during OAC. Maybe, i'll just keep my feelings about OAC to myself. Yup.
3P has bonded rather well as a class but as cliques too :/
Buttt, i think 3P did a great job!(:
I would like to thank afew people who really did alot for the class;
CELINE(the egoist) and JO-ANN(who bullied me in sec 1) for the cf item(:
DHIVYA(who is deeply in love with me, haha), YUSHU(who is so blur), LEVINA(who thinks im damn nice and at the same time, horrible), RACHEL C(who had beautiful safety pins!) and SHIRLENE(who's braces everyone adores) for always volunteering(:
NICOLE(who is a bi, HAHA) and ROOHI(who's the scary at times) too(:
Of course, the entire 3P too; for being there for each other when many of us broke down that night.
And WE know that we did our best, regardless of that incident.
And knowing that we tried hard is what matters most.
Oh, and Instructor Deborah SCANDALOUS was being so nice! Haha. Be happy kay.
3P's attatched instructors and leaders were really nice(:
Now, i kinda miss oac actually :/
THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES 3P(X
Next, March Leadership Camp.
Hmmm okay, i dont know why, but i really really miss it. Maybe it's cause we realised that it's our last camp as juniors :/ But, i have really learnt alot through the camp. For all that we have done, well done sec 3s(: It was sad to know that we had disappointed quite afew people. Sorry. I really liked disaster management alot although it was kinda messy. But, it was so useful. And the CSI was interesting too! PT was good too. I would not have been able to complete it without sarang beside me. Honestly, i thought i couldn't make it. But seeing her persevere so much, i knew i too had to. And she felt the same way too. Haha, thanks! You, dont feel bad kay. I'm sure you did try your best right? And that is what matters most(:
On tuesday, i woke up at 10 to realise that i was alone at home! And i hate staying alone at home cause i'll end up wasting so much of time, like now. Grahhh. Called tian qi and i decided to go to school to help with some stuff. I didnt know that my squadmates were in school too. Helped with fd till ard 2 plus and pigged out till around 4 plus. Then wan ping, rosalind, tian qi and i walked around the school doing really silly stuff and slacking. Haha, but it was fun(x We left around 5.30 and once we reached the bus stop, we realised we didnt return smth, so ws and i decided to walk all the way back to school but we were tempted to buy cotton candy when we saw a small girl eating it. So we went to search for it and bought it before going back to school. The most irritating thing that happened that day was that ws and i really sprinted to get on the bus, BUT the bus went off ): Recieved so many calls that night; i really felt like switching off my phone but i didnt. Haha. That was the only day that felt like a holiday. Thank you squadmates(:
Recently, Theresa said that since she was 4 to 10 years old, she'd wanted to be Miss Singapore. HAHAHA, i really couldn't stop laughing when she said that. Oh, and theresa is so cuteee lah omg. Found out so many stuff about her through the public speaking session during camp, haha.
Now, i know that it is true for sure. But, i tried not to let it affect me. I failed. However, regardless of that, I'll be here to comfort you and block the harms, to keep away your hidden secrets and to brighten up your cloudy skies. I just want to to know that i'm always here alright(: However angry or irritated i might be with you, that special place you have in me will never fade off. Don't know if you realised that it has been a really long time since i last asked you about what's going on in your life. You might think i do not care, but i do. I just have a feeling that you wouldn't tell me, so yeah. But then again, if you ever wish to, you know im here.
i'm the only sane one.
this is what happens when i'm influenced
Learn to love everyone around you, then everyone will be perfect in your eyes.
Never hold grudges, and you'll be happy.
I LOVE YUJIE the spas(:
.Tuesday, March 17, 2009 ' 10:56 PM Y
JIAYOU! JIAYOU! JIAYOU!(:
We'll get through this together my dears!
.
omgosh, but im srsly damn scared :/:/
where's my motivation!
where's my motivation!
.Sunday, March 15, 2009 ' 11:52 PM Y
Oh great.
I just typed a really long post and i deleted it.
Grahhhh.
Right now, i just want to run into a far far away forest and get away from all these complications.
Goodnight.
.Tuesday, March 10, 2009 ' 11:07 PM Y
gahhh it's tmr ): I know why im so scared or dreading it, but there's nothing i can do about it. Hurr. I can't wait for the holidays to be over. I'd rather have to go to school 7 days a week actually.
Went to pp with pei xuan and dhivya today. Pei Xuan waited for me to complete my work, and we left together(: Haha, so sweet. Thanks dear! And sorry about the hp thing kay. It was dhivya's FIRST time climbing the spiderweb and it was a success. Haha, i'm so proud of you! I had to climb countless times before reaching the top yknow. And px too!
Omgosh, i can't believe i'm talking to you after so long. But everytime we do, it's always about the same boring topic. But it's okay, smth's always better than nothing. Oh and some idiotic person (i hope you see this) prank called me today. Eeeediot, haha.
Honestly, sometimes i feel like i'm talking to wall when i talk to you.
For everything that you've been doing for me and helping me with, THANK YOU SO MUCH NAIDUUU dodo(: you love me. Haha.
JIAYOU FOR OAC 3P :D
I'll miss my phone and earpiece badlyyy. And i'll try not to miss you.
Goodbye.
.Sunday, March 8, 2009 ' 11:35 PM Y
Yest was evac accred for 5 of my squadmates. I think going to school with the angelic one and lover was a really bad idea cause it wasn't very productive. Firstly, there was no food in school and yujie and i were damn hungry. Secondly, i had to keep running away from the two of them cause xin yi didnt have a casualty. Omgosh, being rosalind's casualty was so scary! Haha, and she did something really really spastic. It was like the other time when the told the school staff "yes ma'am" Haha, omg! Anw, went to pp to carry on anddd, there was no powerpoint in macs when i thought there were. I felt so cheated. Anw, it is over. Feels relieved(: thank you everyone!
It's been quite some time since i talked to you properly. I hate being influenced but i know i am. Saranya, you've got a heart and mind of your own. Yes. Don't know if i am ___ now, but it seems like. Well, have fun(: I ain't gonna stop you and question you. Somehow, i havent been able to stand your temper recently. Gahhhh, i cant stand tempers. I don't want to feel this way anymore, please. I miss the old you, badly.
I dont feel like going to school tmr. Hur. I want dhivya to come over and i want to tell you everything that's been going on. And take pics and laugh, and feel good(: but i cant, obviously. And we cant do that during march holidays too, cause of band! Tsk. But it's okay, we've still got friday, tgt with the two bimbos! Yaye. I realised everything we talk about in school nowdays is what we have to do each day, and that's all. This sucks.
I feel bad for what i've said. So, i'm really sorry. But it was the situation. I sense the difference in your behaviour, which i dont want. I've never been too close to you, but i know there was a part of me which always thought about you. Do not think that i dont care about you any longer, cause i do.
I really dont know what keeps me going nowdays.
Actually, i doubt there's anything.
I hate it; living life for the sake of it.
I miss the times i used to look forward to see you, i used to look forward to trgs, i used to look forward to feeling happy.
Rosalind's personal msg on msn was, go mad alrd. mad mad mad mad. MAD!
saranya; says:
well, i think you shd add the i in front!
rosalind(: says:
no i shld put SARANYA GO MAD ALRD! actually no lah. you still look rather sane
saranya; says:
yay, haha(: i always do
rosalind(: says:
I COULD PUT dhivya go mad alrd
rosalind(: says:
but she is always mad
rosalind(: says:
so no difference!!!
My sister said i should stop listening to so many emo songs. Actually, i think so too but it's so tough. And my sis likes clubbing songs which i hateeee. Spending sometime on my own every night makes me feel funny but i think it's necessary. My sister wants to go out with me during my holidays. Haha, i feel honoured!
There are things you love to hear but you would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear it from, but dont be deaf and hear it from the person who says it with his heart.
But in my heart i always knew, nothing can change
However much i keep walking; away from you
.Saturday, March 7, 2009 ' 11:36 PM Y
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEN YUN(:
i'm kinda sure you wont see this :/
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVINA(:
i dont have any pic of you alone, so here is half of delta!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST OORU UNDO(:
act cool only! there you go again, action bedek, haha!
HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY DEAR EX SLEEPING PARTNER(:
I miss you loser! Everytime we walk past each other, either one of us would be rushing somewhere ): hurhur. And you're forever leaving immediately after school to meet him. Tsk tsk.
.Friday, March 6, 2009 ' 10:30 PM Y
damn, im freaking shit pissed
I hate it when people complain about my colour changing so much, and how skinny i am.
hello, i am not THAT skinny okay.
What's impt is that i am healthy right
Oh my god.
Skinny dosen't mean unhealthy right. Bahhh.
And yes. Why are you'll so affected by my height, when i am not?!
Haiyo, dunno what to say.
And you, pls stop lying. It's damn annoying. Come on, i've known you for so many years. This is not the time to lie about such stuff. I dont know if you take it srsly, but it's damn impt.
Dhivya has been helping me with so much of stuff. Thank you so much, you egoist(: And my tp who helps me collect stuff too. Haha, thank you.
Since you said it, i've just realised it too.
Actually, i too dont know what's happening to me. Heh.
Third post in a day, haha.
. ' 9:59 PM Y
sometimes you just love some people for no reason;
you might not talk to the person often
you might not see the person often
you might not even know the person too well
but you still love the person;
i agree, whole-heartedly
and you are one of those few
how would you feel if someone indirectly told you that he/she might leave the world rather soon?
like shit.
why?
. ' 5:59 PM Y
Something made me really happy today. After csp, rugaiyah tehlian yujie and i practised __________! Haha, finally. Lessons today were boring. But assembly was quite interesting. The cedar got's talent finalists performed. Smth was damn shocking, but nice(: Hmmm, i think the best was the sec 1 girl and the sec 4 who sang alone. Started thinking so much when she sang. Heh. I rmb how much i used to look forward to assembly back in sec 1. So different now.
Geog yest was not too bad, but quite bad cause i think i wrote the wrong things for the 8 mark question. Gahhh. But i felt so great after the paper. It felt as though EYEs were over. Dream on lah. Oh, i passed my summary quite well for the FIRST TIME. Even if i did pass in lower sec, i only used to get borderline passes. We'll be getting back amath on tuesday. Dead :/ Watched the talentime practice yest. I think it's really nice. Never knew sara teo could sing and she sings damn well.
Went to pp with rugaiyah, yujie, tehlian, theresa and saraht yest. Sarah said smth rather disgusting but super hilarious; i laughed till i almost fell on the road. And yujie said smth else which damn funny too. And we sat at the spiderweb and played lame hand games. But it made me feel less stressed(: till tianqi called me. Omg, the horror. But i believe we can do it together[: JIAYOU! tmr tmr. Oh, and i saw someone at pp yest. I was rather shocked but i felt so happy! Haha. Mrs Gay gave us a free period yest cause we only had 5 mins of recess. We finally got the time to discuss some oac stuff.
Tehlian's an angel, srsly(x
Each time, i feel different things.
Should never have fallen into it.
.Wednesday, March 4, 2009 ' 9:28 PM Y
Just talked to yujie for an hour.
Can't believe it.
We BETTER pass our geog tmr.
It's damn sad, srsly
. ' 7:59 PM Y
Dont know if you want to gain praise or what; but it's damn disappointing and..ahhh i dunno. Please realise that you were not the ONLY ONE doing it. Many people did it too. But the only reason why you stayed up to do was cause you started later at night. I think it's really wrong of you to think so highly of yourself and assume that whatever the rest do will have many mistakes and yours perfect. And, it is not that the rest didnt want to correct the mistakes, but yknow what happened. Changing everything to your own style was a wrong move although we know it was for good intentions. Butbut, it is damn (i dunno what's the word) of you to stay up and do although you were so tired and had to study for the upcoming test. The most impt thing is your commitment; thank you(: I havent been too happy with you recently. Okay it's not just me actually. But now, this too. But one thing i have to say, WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT ALOT! Thank you so much. And sorry :/
Got back emaths and chem results today. Emath was okay. But i think i could have done much better for chem. Sheesh. Geog tmr. I have no idea what to expect at all, omg. I really can't wait for tmr's first period to end. I have been so worried about geog since cts started and the thought of me being so unprepared makes me feel damn stressed. Gahhh. And there are more and more proposals. Grahhh.
Jiayou saranya. Jiayou squadmates. Jiayou to all taking geog and history tmr.
And to you, please do not get angry over such small things. We were not even blaming you. Relax kay. It's over(: Oh and dont be so biased lah dodo.
Goodbye blogger. Hello geography, you're my type(x
.Tuesday, March 3, 2009 ' 11:35 PM Y
Amath was so difficult. grahhh.
Not prepared for geog at all. I'm really really looking forward to thurday!
We had a free period today and afew of us started playing lame hands games which i learnt like last year. But it was fun; with shixian's so damn weird laughter, levina falling of the chair, yushu and dhivya being so blur, all the big eyes, and jo-ann's funny words. Haha, srsly 3p's damn nice<3
I'm still damn pissed with you. Okay, almost everyone is. Oh my god. Why am i wasting my energy over you? Hurrr, cant stand it. :/
Thanks alot for your goodnight msg last night. It was rather shocking but i appreciated it alot. Such msges never fail to make me happy(: thanks dear!
i'll never be able to do it; never.
i try to walk away, but it keeps pulling me closer
.Monday, March 2, 2009 ' 11:00 PM Y
just 2 more cts. jiayou jiayou.
i really can't wait for them to end.
gah, feeling so horrible now.
yesyes, we're almost done with it!
thank you so much squadmates(:
everytime i see _______, i get reminded of smth i asked for quite some time back.
never got the chance though.
. ' 5:26 PM Y
Bio was so screwed omg ):
I made so many careless mistakes. Hurrrr.
I think we're getting back chem tmr and emaths on wed.
Amath tmr. It'll be the last test for most ppl. I bet rugaiyah will go around boasting that her tests are over. Eeediot.
Yujie and rugaiyah were fighting over me today! Hahaha, gosh. In the end, i took the bus with rugaiyah and she was being such a mean pig. Tsk; lesson learnt.
OAC's next week and there's still quite a number of stuff undone. Oh god :/ oh my god, which means march camp is just like 2 weeks away. My sister's looking forward to my camps, so she'll be more peaceful. Crap shit. My file's damn messy and i hate it.
I srsly think you should learn how to talk properly. That's why many people dislike to even approach you.
.Sunday, March 1, 2009 ' 9:38 PM Y
i'm tired of it all :/
oh, i love RUGAIYAH manymany!(: although she betrayed her lover.
. ' 9:37 AM Y
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But i have promises to keep,
and miles to go before i sleep,
and miles to go before i sleep.
hello biology.hello amth.hello geography.hello proposal. hello worry.
SARANYA