Hold on to the truth in your heart.

.Sunday, May 31, 2009 ' 9:08 PM Y

I'm sorry i'm not replying your msg.
Your msg made me cry so much.
I dont know why;
I really dont.

Thanks for making things worse for me now.
One such word from you was more than enough.
Dont vent your anger cause of someone else on me cause i hate it.

I know what i need now but i know i'll never get it anytime soon.
Who knows? Never at all anymore.

. ' 8:01 PM Y

i just read smth :/ feeling really horrible now.

still cannot believe what i heard about you.
Im still very disgusted.
I wish i never found out.
I'm glad i didnt tell you about it.
heh

):

. ' 7:26 PM Y

1. I felt my heart sinking when i walked away.

2. I love the book Tuesdays With Morrie alot alot. It talks about life and it makes so much of sense.

3. I couldn't concentrate today because i kept thinking about __. Tried to distract myself, but. Failed attempt. Heh.

4. Tomorrow better be serious mugging or else i'll kill the ants(?!)

5. I miss you but i dont want to and i hate this feeling TTM :/

6. Disciple's learnt a new word and she cant stop using it.

7. OHMYGOSH. I just realised many people are going overseas soon ):

8. Something extremely traumatizing happened today. Goodluck to you. Pray hard that it dosent spread(x Haha.

9. Ants are very scary creatures.

10. Someone's not telling me something.

11. Someone asked me to reply my tags, so i might. Sometime soon.

.Saturday, May 30, 2009 ' 11:07 PM Y

Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't;

I wanted to tell you this, but never got the chance to.
The only reason why i told you whatever i told you on wednesday morning was because i felt that if __ knew about, it would not be right if you didn't.
That is how much you mean to me.
Guess you dont feel that way, but it's okay.
I'm sorry for forcing you to tell me whatever you did yest.
Since you felt that many people already knew it, and i should not.
Oh well, thinking too much again?
I dont know :/

I've realised that, the problem with many people is this : SELF PITY.
Stop taking pity on yourself, and you'll learn to be happy.
Forgive people, and love all around you.
And you'll be happier.
Not very easy, but not impossible though.

Sheesh, i'm missing DKB already. How how ):
omg you're mia-ing AGAIN!!

Smile, my special CleverK(: pretty please, with me on top. Hehheh.
I'm still here, if needed..

If you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. Even where you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

.Friday, May 29, 2009 ' 9:51 PM Y

my fault that i feel this way.
maybe im just thinking too much.
but i know it would be tough for that thought to change :/
i really dont know what to say.
sucks.

thank you very much for all your concern and advices(:

really long since i spent time, talking like that with dearest MARY.
thank you MARY(:

.Thursday, May 28, 2009 ' 11:49 PM Y

i really wish i could stop caring;
tried. still trying.
i wish i didnt see.

i really hope you are okay;

.Wednesday, May 27, 2009 ' 11:07 PM Y

oh noooooooo):
i really dont want tamil paper. Hur :/

DKB's mia-ing now. Tsk you.
I bet disciple's scandalling with her chem textbook now. SCANDALOUS PIG.
Dont think you would see this, but relax rachel!
Think of seeing me tmr and (: haha, dont be stressed!

okay, what on earth am i doing here?!
Goodbye. I love chem to bits.
I hate your excuses.

Labels: na

.Tuesday, May 26, 2009 ' 10:04 PM Y

sheesh, concentrate saranya.
):
love of my life for next two days : chem

i really really want to tell you about it.
but i am very scared of your reaction and how you would take it.
i can already imagine the look on your face :/

and it is going to take yet another long period of time to get immune to it :/
but anw, thank you(:

meant to be broken?

.Saturday, May 23, 2009 ' 12:01 PM Y

I just saw someone online and i realise i miss her.

Heh, but i just saw her yesterday.

That someone owes me a letter in a notebook.

Now you know who you are? (:

Yesterday was yet another horrible day at school Double maths and double bio, hur. Bio wasnt too bad, thanks to rachel. We didnt really talk much, but sometimes having someone who makes a difference in your life next to you just makes you feel better. To me, table partners are really important people as they make lessons bearable and you somewhat spend most of your time in school with them. I remember how michelle would influence me to sing really gross songs, how she would randomly scribble stuff on my books and how she would help me write names for my letters in sec1. And then debbie! The tiny one ( who is taller than me now ), who has the same (un)lucky number as me, who i fought with so often but laughed over it, whom i shared many stories with. I still miss her :/ And now, the blur meano who is such a flirt! Haha joking. Yay, 15th june set kay, rachel(: Well basically, my tablepartners play a huge part in my school life.

Have you ever wondered what you were doing in a place where you dont deserve to be? Have you ever felt like saying 'i just cant do it' and running away? Have you ever felt like giving up so much? Have you ever controlled your tears so much when it insisted on falling? I did, for once. The very first time, i really wanted to give up so badly. But i pressed 0n, and i didnt give up. At that point of time, i really didnt know what my motivation to not give up was. I doubt there even was anything. The thought of your high expectations just made things worse.

Anw, i am really proud of someone! (:

At this point of time, i dont think i will be able to handle everything if you do come back;

I really dont know what to expect from you.

D; dont be afraid to fall.

you know, i am here.

Random pic; taken after x-country on thurs.

.Friday, May 22, 2009 ' 9:56 PM Y

cry;

Thank you very very much racheltoh, for making lessons bearable today.
No one knows the hurt that i was fighting inside;
I love you tp.

I really hope you are okay.

.Tuesday, May 19, 2009 ' 11:51 PM Y

MYEs starting next thursday ):

Yay, im glad i did quite alot of work at home today. Dont know where my motivation came from, but anw, (:

I am really really proud of someone. So, my letter wasn't much of a use anymore? Haha, but who cares. I am happy you're out of it. Stop bullying me okay! I'm so nice to you, hur. But anw, you can still msg/call me anytime kay. I would be more than willing to help you(: Okay, i really cant express how happy i was when you told me that. Heh.

I dont know what to do :/
I really dont.
I cant tell you anything, i cant not tell you anything.
Sheesh, why?

Self-pity; i hate it.

Alright, i shall continue mugging CHEM till i fall asleep :D
DKB's such a DKB man.
I've got a long story for you!

. ' 6:03 AM Y

nope, that cant be true.
cause if it is, _________.
yest, you made me realise again that i really was tired of all your crap.
I dont know whether you're doing it knowingly or unknowingly.
But whatever it is, i'm tired of it and that is why i gave up once.
Pls, i dont want to do that again.

.Sunday, May 17, 2009 ' 11:12 PM Y

i shall blog about today tmr.
Anw, today was great(:

I am going to have to hear a stupid story from DKB(!) tmr.
But anyway, i love DKB alot alot. Be happy kay.
I know there is smth. BUT,
You're still special lah, my dear.

i feel damn heartless for doing that.
but i cant help it? heh.
controlling my feelings.

.Saturday, May 16, 2009 ' 11:01 PM Y

If you ever do come back;
i dont know how i'd react, i really dont :/

Anyway, this week's been filled with many emotions.
Monday was a school holiday ): The reason why i hate weekends and school hols now is cause my only motivation to study at home was my sis ( she is a nerd who mugs like i dont know what. HAHA), but now that her exams are over and she is having holidays.. ): yeah, lost all motivation. Hur. So anw, Dhivya came over on monday! After a really really long time, so yaye(: We talked a little, studied and played. Haha, ex-tennis player.

I was really looking forward to going to school on tuesday but it ended up to be a really horrible day. Felt really horrible the entire day, for i have no idea what reason. I couldn't wait to get home. When i came home, i heard smth from someone which made me really angry.
Do you have smth called modesty?
Maybe everyone already knows that you dont, but come on.
Stop thinking that you're the greatest person living on earth.
Then you would be called god, my dear friend.
I had many other thoughts running through my mind when she told me what happened.
But, i managed to calm down and i thought; no point getting angry.
There is a reason for everything that happens.
heh.
But, i did recieve a letter on tuesday though, from someone who wasnt intending to reply actually. HEH! I'll go on heh-ing you forever.

I went to school to study with a major loser today. It was very productive. Yay, felt very happy too(: And we ran, oh gosh. The drama just to go and run :/ Heh, HAHAHA! (inside joke)
Study/eat/running date again tmr! :D

Oh yes! Rosalind is so sick! Worse than rachel toh. Rachel loves reading sick books and she makes funny weird noises while reading it. But Rosalind's worst! She likes listening to sick songs even once she realises that they're sick ones. Tskkk, such naughty kids.

Cross country's cominggg ): Someone made me feel very guilty today, so tmr must train! Haha. Oh no, that reminds me. I forgot to reply yi zi ren's msg. Dui bu qi.

Two people made a great impact on me this week. And so, thank you very very much(:
They say; distance makes the heart grow fonder. Quite true in SOME cases. Heh.

You must get on with life no matter what happens, cause you are precious to me <3

.Friday, May 15, 2009 ' 12:02 AM Y

i am angry now :/
hurrr, says alot about you.
and i was waken up by someone! grr.

.Wednesday, May 13, 2009 ' 10:53 PM Y

you, are not alone <3
that is for sure alright, mD.
(:

. ' 10:35 PM Y

Zomg, my sis is making the bed shake so much now.
I dont like it! ):

Today was a much much better day than yest, thank god.
But someone else was feeling horrible.
Haiyo you ah! Relax, dont stress dont stress dont stress kay(:

I like having chem lessons in class.
I finally tried one granola bar today. Quite nice, hehe.

I am really happy(:
I must thank quite afew people.
Firstly you, for all the persuasions, jiayous, and advice.
Secondly you, for the random but really touching msges which made a big difference.
And lastly you, for cooperating.
So THANK YOU VERY MUCH to three of you (:

i always have much more things to say, but it never comes out when i want to post :/

GOODNIGHT DKB<3
dont miss me too much.

. ' 12:09 AM Y

I felt really lousy in school the entire day :/
I have many many things to say, but i am mentally tired.

, says:
omg stop being humble! wheres your egoness!
, says:
oh hey its not 12 yet!
i thought it was like 2+ alr!
yay can stay up longerrrrrrr!

HAHAHA, cartoon man.

Someone did something today and i was so touched [:

I shall go and play wii and sleep, yaye.
Tomorrow's going to be a good, happy and study hard day.

You will have, my dear.
I believe.

.Monday, May 11, 2009 ' 11:47 PM Y

What happened to "i'll always be there?"
Gone, so easily.
Rmb that promise we made to each other?
I doubt you do.
It is rather pathetic how we aren't even able to keep such a small promise.

Every night;
you made it stop.
I doubt you will ever know it and i will never know how to thank you;
but for now, THANK YOU very much(:

I cant wait for school tmr.
To get my mind off all this.

Someone did something yest, and it reminded me so much of you cause you once used to do that
:/

Goodbye.
Forget; i will.
I try.

. ' 7:55 PM Y

Ma'ams o8/09;

THANK YOU very much for everything(:

I shall save everything for farewell.

I'll miss, for sure.

. ' 7:29 PM Y

PICTURES!

Corryne ma'am, Ying Jie ma'am and PT dept(:

RugaiyahtheBULLY, Grace ma'am, SaranyatheGREAT(:

ps. i like the night sky.

We are kids too

Look where yujie's hand is! Eeyer, PERVERT! Haha.

RED CROSS, haha!

THE hole.

Heather the GUN.

Sarahtan TRYING to be unique. HAHA, dont kill me pls.

Marilyn, the wong.

The three of us on the right were in our own world, must be thinking of me. HAHA

What was i trying to do?!

"Where is my prince charming?! I want to have SBS." -yujie.

HAHA! Go figure what SBS is.

And to all sick people around, SBS isnt anything sick okay!

. ' 2:21 PM Y

HELLO ALL :D

Naidu's in my house now and she keeps wanting to take pics with me and that shows how much she loves me[:
HAHA!
I wrote a very nice and pretty letter to someone just now, made me feel happy too. Yaye!

Hur, the zheng says i look short in my msn dp! ):
Short have to look short whaaaat! Haha.

Alright, we shall continue trying to study now.
I have many random pics to post, tonight maybe. Maybe.
Heh.
Goodbye.

.Sunday, May 10, 2009 ' 10:50 PM Y

I can never forget you even if i want to;

Thank you very much for today[:
DKB just cheated my feelings ): ): ):

.Saturday, May 9, 2009 ' 12:06 AM Y

how would you feel if you trusted someone so much, and then you realise, that person was not meant for you;
the feeling is horrible.

Today is World Red Cross Day.
And POP was today.
I have got so much to say but there comes the problem again, how do i say it? Heh
I will blog about it tmr i guess.

I admire myself for being able to control my feelings in public. Heh.

Goodbye.

.Wednesday, May 6, 2009 ' 7:48 PM Y

Yest before pe started, dhivya yuanjing, singyi and i were talking about how we would speak if we were an air steward. It was extremely hilarious, esp as dhivya was the one immitating. Yuan Jing would say "EH! Here's your drink. What else you want? ", in that want-to-fight-ah voice. Dhivya would say "Here is your drink maam. HAHAHAH", and she'll walk away laughing. And dhivya said that i would say "Here is your drink as sweet as me". Oops, and i forgot what singyi would say. HAHA okay that was crap.

Rugaiyah sent me a msg yest saying how pitiful i was cause i talk to dhivya every night. Hmmm yeah, true rugaiyah. I am so glad you understand my feelings(: HAHAHA, someone's gonna ignore me.

I finally did it. Thank you very much, you[: For all your jiayous and goodlucks, though it is smth really small.

Ohoh, we sang national day songs during english again! Oh, the joyyy :D
Haha.

I hate traumatizing incidents omg :/

Yet another random and pointless post.
I shall eat my dinner and start studying.
YOU! Stop watching stupid videos and study la ahlianzxzx[:

.Monday, May 4, 2009 ' 10:53 PM Y

before i forget;

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEBBIE HO MIN :D

you finally admitted smth . Haha, yay <3

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PEI XUAN :D

the pervert who loves to hug me! haha.

i am listening to national day songs now! Yaye, i like(: Haha.
When i sang "walk together hand in hand", my sis stretched out her arm for me to hold. HAHA SPAS!
yayyyy, it's time to watch metamorphosis.
zai jian[:

. ' 7:54 PM Y

Random post!

1. I love last period english lessons with shabrina and rachel toh cause they make me really happy(:
2. Gahhh, there's no english tmr ): How to survive?!
3. It's okay, there's something will keep me going till the end of school. Yaye![:
4. Today was filled with many joke-of-the day(s)!
5. I just ate rum ball; reminds me of smth.
6. I walked alot today and my leg hurtssss :/
7. Rugaiyah can act really well.
8. MYEs 23 days away. Hurrr.
9. Tamil lessons are super boring.
10.I've said 10 random stuff!

Okay, i intend to stay up late today.
Who's with me?(: Haha.

.Saturday, May 2, 2009 ' 11:39 PM Y

Studied with squadmates yest.
I was supp to meet them at bishan at 9.30 but the wonderful me only woke up at 9.15. Hehheh. And that is when my sister reminded me that it was a public holiday and the library would be closed ): So cheat feelings, tsk. Called yujie and i could sense the disappointment in her voice haha! And when such things happen, i say 'That's life!' Haha. So we changed plan and decided to go to tpmacs. Luckily they called to tell me they were going to ppmacs before i boarded the bus. Finally, we ended up at ppmacs(: My all time fav, haha. Felt so happy when i completed my tamil compre. Anw, Theresa chan is such a tai tai. She carried her umbrella along with her just to cross the road to get to kfc! Omg theresaaaaa! And she wore such obscene clothes. Theresa's really interesting actually. HAHA!

Today's a really sad day ): No one could go out with me and my sis too abandoned me alone at home. Complained and complained alot to some people. Haha sorry! And that rachel toh yi yun cheated my feelings twice okay twice. Tskk, you ahhhh. So i ended up staying at home): Bhajan was niceee(:

I dont know what's got over me; I've been thinking alot about you today. I have figured out the reason why you're like this now, but ohwell, im not gonna assume.
I read this somewhere;
"That's me. That's just what i am" What they're really saying is, I'm not responsible for the way i act. I can't change. I was predetermined to be this way.
That's exactly what many people say. You can change you know. You can change the way you look at things. When you're not feeling good or happy, it's not because of what someone has done to you but it's cause of how you choose to look at it. So, don't blame anyone for who you are.
Honestly, you'll be a happier person(:
This is so random, haha.

I'm going with the flow now. I've experienced this so many times, but im not doing anything about it. Tried afew times, but it dosent work. So, im just gonna leave it and let everything happen naturally.

I'm gonna try and make everyone happy. Who cares if you dont treat me back the same way. I know i'll be happy. It's going to be hard, but i'll try my best[:

Hey you, i've got smth for you.
Cheer up okayyy, please <3
If you are thinking whether it's you, yes it is.

.Friday, May 1, 2009 ' 9:57 PM Y

You'll never know how happy you make me feel(:

. ' 1:03 AM Y

This week's over really fast.
3 more weeks before MYEs and it's such a terror cause tamil and chem are the first papers.

Monday was great(: cause rachel toh and yujie made my day! Tehlian, yujie and i were studying quietly till rachel came and she couldn't stop talking. tsk, haha. We decided that we were just wasting our time and so we went to tpy and played. Like what rachel said, i dont know why but i just felt very happy that day too. Thank you to the two of you[: Rachel, you havent told me smth yet. I'm waiting..

Tuesday was spent studying with squadmates. I could feel my brain cells dying that day. And i had told yujie to stay up till 12 to study on monday night and she really did! Haha, so touched. But she kept scolding me on tues cause she was very tired, haha. I got really angry with someone that day. I doubt i've ever shown my anger like this in school before.

Yest was like any other normal wednesday. But top was kind of boring.

Ms Chin didn't come today but we still had extra lesson with the other teacher ( i forgot her name, oops). During the second maths period, shabrina sherilyn sarah dhivya rachel toh and i started singing national day songs. Yay, i like community singing! But there's still quite a long time before ndp. I did maths hw in school after the extra lesson. I felt so accomplished(: though i still have tamil compre ):

It has been really long since i talked to someone about random stuff like this, and they make me happy. You came along suddenly; thank you very much <3 And thank you for your words of encouragement too[:

I've decided to take things easily and let everything happen at it's own pace naturally. I'm not gonna do anything. Stop. Pause. Think. Yes, im gonna be happy with whatever i have presently and learn to live with it.

Someone said something very meaningful recently; people change but there is nothing we can do about it but to adapt to the change.

Study session tmr. Yay(:

I know i'm stronger than this.